In blackened days the muse tests my faith
“If I reach up n stand on tippy toes
I can almost touch the stars”
“If I stand really still
The flutterby will land on me”
Sweet innocence and wonder
Soon will change
Impurity grows upon the stage
Silver dollar for every smile made
Amidst the scurry of darkened souls
Soon crawl inside her skin
Needles have done so before
Replaced by the lace and cigarettes
And the thousand silent smiles
Leeching lurid in the sin
Limited by the crazy
Living inside this mind
Confession of living lonely
Escape the mouths of babes
Yet nothing will escape
This life that is made
Of whiskey and broken dreams
Nights laid waste
Of days unremembered
All because
You took my innocence
8 comments:
Many find they pay a high price for the loss of innocence - you have demonstrated that very well in this poem.
Thank you for your contribution to Real Toads in 2012.
wow. and the consequences of such action are very high, as you so aptly describe. thank you.
Your work prompted mine today, Adrian. Wishing you blessings, peace, calm.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/12/24/precious-and-divine/
There really is so much truth in this--part of me wishes I didn't resonate so much with this piece--but I do--particularly strong ending I thought--
ugh what sadness that loss of innocence...at some point it happens to all of us...some more grisly than others sadly....hard bit of reality man
Sometimes, that loss makes us what we are today. Harsh lessons learnt fast, the downward spiral, the uphill climb, that hopefully shape a responsible person along the way.
Powerful piece.
I'm so glad I can finally comment! I've always loved your work but have never figured out where to leave my comments. :)
I really like this section:
"crawl inside her skin
Needles have done so before
Replaced by the lace and cigarettes
And the thousand silent smiles"
I don't know if you are open to suggestions or not, but my mind wants to omit a couple of words, for rhythm and tightness:
"Replaced by lace, cigarettes,
a thousand silent smiles"
Completely unnecessary, but just something you might consider for impact. Like I said, I love your work and your voice. Thanks for sharing.
Hard hitting and real...
Awesome work!
Post a Comment