A long day yet to begin

Should I ask the muse, why?

I draw long on that first cigarette of the day

The one that gets you heady

An excuse that its needed as you spin on the top

Just an observation on the presence of meaning

I don’t need to run with the pack today

Much needed sip of coffee draws the caffeine in

Fires several deadened synapsis

Killed in the last line of war

Or that whiskey bottle that lies on the floor

Several breathes are taken to expel the taste of licking the floor

Its cold down here surrounded by walls

Sitting in the corner of this dark grey room

Hey

Remember those first cold days 

Living in memories breeze 

Scratch a barely stubbled chin 

Dismissed as an afterthought in the blink of an eye

Whats the promise when Im going to die

Hell we all are

Scattering several cockroaches matched by ash drops 

Leaving me in my misery

Stains on the ceiling traced out in a sickly tapestry of a world less believing

Hold me and come close lest I freeze

Stick my fingers in my ears and see if I can fly

But these feelings pass on a whim 

Fucked if I will let you in

Probably just burn as the others have

The ones that Ive let in close

Seriously I pause as I light another smoke

Taste the heat on the back of my throat

Who was the first that felt slipped in my sin

Did I ever know love like this

Married to the sky dusted in shades of rudimentary black

Passed in a time forgot staring inanely at the walls 

Hoping it would wipe a remembrance like the spider as it crawls up the wall

In the hope of  a quick easy feed

What the fuck is this stench that passes these nostrils

Drenched in my own fetid refuse 

For I fail to live everyday

I have forgotten

How to wake in the morn

I have forgotten how to talk to another man

My lips stitched shut to keep the pressure within

But fuck it all Im dead within

I need to brew me up some more caffeine