11.37pm

I weep as the muses passes into the light

 

I sit

Coated in psychedelic rivers

Streaming from wrists sliced with a rusty blade

I sit

Cross legged upon the floor

Smothered in dreams lost surrounded by colour photographs

I sit

Embracing the warmth harnessed from the lack of a sun

Allowing eyelids to hang heavy for a final time

I sit

Carrying a heart heavy with sin

Jaded by time cracked into featureless mirrors

I sit 

Allowing forgiveness to wash my soul

As a candle flickers in my pocket 

I sit

Feeding the roses tattoo’d on my arm as acid has its way

Licking at the flesh as it devours my yesterday

I sit

As I die and watch my children grow beside my grave

Masking a silent ritual of death with a wry smile

I sit

As the corners of the room fade away

Holding back a jade tear as I know death is near

I sit

And I wait

As I hold onto life

© 2013 Adrian AIDZ Giannini

 

5.24pm

I cannot save the muse as she saved me

 

Ive spent the days contemplating my final demise

Kissed the angels wings held heavy with the burden of my years

Allowing the walls to close in to greet me once again

This time I noticed a scribble in grey lead pencil

A name hurriedly scribed as if with some urgency to somewhere else

Gently tracing its contours with my index finger

Whilst my eyes adjust to the light that once was

Eyelids heavy with the panic of exhaustion

I silently mouth each letter as it forms demons emanating from the paintwork

Crackled to display the raw layers of my past

As my veins shift to accommodate a new intrusion

I spit the bile as it wells in my mouth

Taking time to deliberately form the words the letters traced reveal

In the name of my parents choosing

I say the name I was given

And fall into remission of the life I spent was my own

© 2013 Adrian AIDZ Giannini

 

 

 

8.07pm

Listening to the falling sands the muses reflection guides me

The clack clack of the overhead fan 

Is only drowned out by the cycling of the aircon 

Cooling a tepid body in need of reprise

Searching for solace as a mind screams in the colour blue

Smatterings of black shaded in darker shades of black

Smeared on the walls now

Clack clack

You shouldn't see me like this

A trembling hand reached for the light switch

Located next to the door as thousands

No millions 

Of fingerprint etched switches found elsewhere outside of this room

I seem to remember the sun as it peered from the cracks in the sky

It warmed Im sure

Fading as a memory given no love

This heart beats still a silent tattoo

Coursing acid through veins long since collapsed

Nails grotesquely curl uncut for millennia

Yesterday was only then 

Or was it a lifetime ago

I forget

 

© 2013 Adrian AIDZ Giannini